Rest, Emotions, and Restoration in Uncertain Times

Most of us did not think we would be in another lockdown close to a year after we were deep into the Covid pandemic. Many people are feeling fatigued, lacking enthusiasm, and holding some frustration. There’s a sense of resignation not just in us, but around us. It’s tough to somedays get out of bed, let alone feel energized by purpose.

Besides the Corona virus, the world has experienced fires, floods, racial injustice, political polarity, economic uncertainty, and violence. In our communities, everyday pandemics have been made visible – brought to the forefront in the past year – social inequity, homelessness, fair wages and job losses. Our spirits, minds, and bodies are screaming. If there is one-thing we are certain of, it’s that things are very uncertain. And, the fact is that we are not in this alone, but so many of us continue to think “what is wrong with me?”, or “why am I not handling this better?”.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are not alone. Together, we are living through something most of us have never experienced. You may be one of the fortunate ones who feels guilty for feeling despair when you haven’t lost your job or haven’t had anyone you love die. BuT SOMETHING HAS DIED. We lost a way of being and moving in the world. Humans are social creatures. We are not made for isolation. Being alone makes us irritable, tired, demotivated, uninspired, distracted, and anxious. For some, it leads to depression and other illnesses.

We need rest, and restoration. We need to embrace our emotions. Packing them up and denying them will not help us transcend them. Our spiritual and emotional well-being predicates our “doing”. Many of us are busy trying to be productive because we are feeling incompetent or ineffective even if life during the past year has had us working overtime both at home and at work. We need to also embrace more stillness in our lives; from stillness comes the opportunity to be with our emotions. With all that we have experienced and continue to experience with the pandemic, Doctor Saundra Dalton-Smith’s work has even more relevance for me than a few years ago. If you think sleep is the only stillness that gives your rest, think again. She is the author of Sacred Rest: Recover Your Health, Renew Your Energy, Renew Your Sanity in which she explains that humans need physical, mental, social, creative, emotional, spiritual, and sensory rest. Her TED Talk is worth a listen if you aren’t up for the book.

As for our ability to embrace our emotions, I often get asked, “what does that even mean?” and “if I embrace them, won’t I become them? (because I don’t want that emotion to become my life)”. To transcend an emotion, we actually need to embrace it and listen to its message.

Let’s take a look at grief and fear since those are emotions many of us are feeling right now. Grief, love, and fear are connected. Grief is a sign that we have loved something or someone deeply. We don’t grieve things that don’t have meaning to us. Grief is like becoming untethered.It’s like losing our GPS system. In the past year, we’ve literally lost the way to navigate our life. To this day, I grieve the death of my parents, and one of my sisters. Looking back at it, I see how I tried to numb the pain with endless work, binge television, and self-medication. It didn’t work. Unresolved grief doesn’t just disappear. I had to be with it and listen to what my grief was saying.

Grief is the wisdom of life coming to tell you that you are heading for learning.

There is no life without loss, therefore there is no life without grief.

Fear is the emotion that arises when we think we will lose something we love dearly. It too often bounds us to inactivity. It isolates us. In our current situation, we have so much fear because we don’t have the answers. The direction of our lives may be very different than what we thought it would be just a year ago.

All of our emotions are layered and complex, just as fear, love, and grief are intimately interconnected. I like to use the metaphor of a camera lens to decipher our emotions. Bringing an emotion to the forefront or the background can support the deconstructing and reconstructing of emotions.  (Note that you may require support in such a process, and if you have suffered intense trauma, a therapist should be considered vs a coach)

Remember the rest and restoration I spoke of above? I invite you to do the things that enable you to embrace your emotions: long walks, silence, journaling, art, nature, warm baths, candles, listening to music, dancing or whatever you do that gives you comfort. I am fond of this book that explains the intricacies of the heart and brain, backed by tremendous scientific research: A General Theory of Love.

It’s a time to ignore society’s messages to be “strong”. Now is the time for softness. Through softness and rest, we can restore our spirit. We can open up to the vulnerability of our emotions – to feel them, to express them, and to eventually transcend them. And that my friends will liberate us.

It is time to feel more deeply, care more deeply, and love more deeply. Much scientific research and spiritual practice says that this is the truest path to expanding our possibilities.

Xo

manjit