Taking Care of Inner Space: Self-Inquiry & Self-Awareness at Root of Self-Care
The Guesthouse
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~Rumi
This poem is an invitation to my own spirit, and yours, into wholeness, into claiming and owning the deep seeds of tensions and aspirations that give rise to the creations of our daily lived experiences, the sorrows and the joys. It is an invitation into a relational and gentler/kinder way of being with the wounds and the wholeness of ourselves, the desirable and the uncomfortable feelings and sensations of our daily lives.
Getting to know oneself is to understand that we are many selves. Empathic self -inquiry is a deep form of self-care; taking care of the inner self so we can take care of our outer worlds. How are we able to create in the world if we do not have a deep understanding of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. Rumi’s poem is a recognition of an intrinsic kind of intelligence and wisdom at play in everything, a life-affirming wholeness. There is an awakening with this kind of respectful listening and trust. Dare I suggest that this dive into sensing and feeling more is a shift towards the yin of the yin and yang in all of us, from masculinity traits of domination, power and control of myself and others. Instead, we move to the complexity of seeing our inner and outer worlds through a relational lens that is too often deemed a feminine trait.
Essentially, all of us are living systems with yin and yang where we flow between what is needed most in what situation. We all have parts of ourselves that have been supressed into submission, what Jung calls the shadow. To bring these parts into the light and to integrate them is a way of returning to wholeness. To be present to them with love, acceptance and empathy, rather than condemnation and blame.
This is an alchemy of our inner space, an alchemy of spirit, body, heart, and mind. Taking care of our inner space is a tuning, a return to wholeness. It is self-care, not selfish. Selfishness is when one takes care of oneself while not being compassionate to others. Self-care, in my life, has meant a return to the deep responsibility of listening, sensing, and knowing myself so I can show up and be fully present to myself and others.
If we are but a guesthouse, let us be welcoming to what it means to be fully human. Let us get to know the emotions that live in our body and heart and let us learn to ignore the judging thoughts that our mind conjures. Judgements and stories that have been learned from personal, familial, cultural, religious, and societal narratives.
This poem is an invitation to tap into our expansive humanness. To be more resilient in volatile times, we need to be even more connected to our emotions so we can discern what to do right here, right now. It’s in our wholeness that we can respond well and be most resourceful. What joy, courage, and peace might arrive at your door?